Saturday, June 13, 2009
Remembering and Creating At The Same Time
I don't think this picture does it justice. What the Carder family commonly refers to as "Sugar Cookies" is not what the average american expects. These German shortbread cookies take buttermilk, shortening, butter, 4 c of flour and lots of love.
Dad spent time with Grandma Carder last week learning the special tricks that mom had spent a day learning as well. Today, Dad and I felt like we accomplished the world's greatest feat when Carder took a bite of our sugar cookies and said, "Just like Gaga's!"
Dad leaves for South Carolina tomorrow. I know this is part of the process, but I just wish he was already living back in Illinois. He wants to be here as bad as we wish he was. There is healing going on, and I see that there is so much to enjoy in life. He is making progress on finding the perfect residence, and we are making plans for weeks to come. However, the distance seems to make the grieving worse at this point. I'm sure it is just in our minds, but I'm sure gonna miss him.
Regardless, sometimes the overwhelming sadness hits when you least expect it. Mom filled so many roles in my life that I just still can't believe that she is gone. I received an award for business this month and the first thing I wanted to do was call her. I think of the accomplishments that I have in life, and they just aren't the same without her smile and praise. It's funny. I didn't realize until she was gone just how much I did in efforts to please her and share with her.
Nevertheless, God is good, and hope is knowing through Christ our time apart is so, so short.