Monday, June 8, 2009

Everything I Do!

In everything I do, I am reminded of mom. That is so good and so bad at the same time.

Because the church office has now moved to an off-our-home-site location, we have some new found room in our basement. In hopes to busy myself with a project, I have focused on turning the larger room into a game room for the boys. As we were putting DVD's away tonight, I realized almost every movie was a gift for the boys from mom. I realized there would be no more. It's as if Kaden realized it at the same moment. He said, "I miss Gaga." That cut my heart in a way I just can't express.

Carder came to cuddle me as I cried early this afternoon and his blanket has rips and holes that mom would always fix with him when she came. It is just such a realization every minute of everyday that she was a HUGE part of who I am, and now I am left with a hole I just don't know how to repair.

I just miss mom. I am so glad she was a part of every part, but now I just don't know how to put the pieces back together. I guess this is what you call a bad day. Some are better, some are harder, some are just bad. Tomorrow is a hope of better.

1 comment:

  1. I also miss your Mom. I think of her often and think of all the good times we had together. I remember her encouragement and how she helped me find the path to lift me up out of despair.
    I know that she would tell you that she misses you and loves you. More than she can begin to tell you, but she would tell you that she is with her Father and she looks forward to seeing you someday. Remember, God is Good, all the time. Think of you often. Look forward to your posts. Some days when I just feel like there is too much to deal with. Aging parents, lost grandchild, children and grandchildren far away--I remind myself of what Norm always said,"God is good,all the time." Then it seems like things settle down to a level where I know that with God's help I can deal with whatever I have to deal with that day. You are your Mother's child. You are strong (in the Lord). You are loved. You are blessed. Remember all of God's promises?
    Claim those for yourself and your family for this day and for the future.