I feel all out of words.
My grief, heartache and overall desperation feel the same. As we approach the year anniversary, it seems that it is harder rather than easier. It seems I am on a hamster wheel of emotions.
I miss MY mom. I miss MY best friend. Everyone else's world just keeps going, but she's gone. Never to return.
I'm just all out of words. As my cousin used to say, "I've lost my talking."
I read in this book, "Shock protected my heart, but porously. I knew it must be shock because I got done what I needed to do. I knew the protection was porous becuase, when I was least expecting it, a memory would bring me to my knees." Made me think of you, of maybe how you feel all the time. I love you.
ReplyDeleteI love you Miss Dos.I understand Your pain.I understand Your loss.I lost My very best friend who loved me for me.She listened to My words.She loved My children like no other. She was My gift from Our Father. You are in My thoughts.. You are in My heart.. You are loved..K
ReplyDeleteDearest Rachelle, I am continuing to pray for you as you walk through this valley. I hear from others that it does get better...I pray that happens soon for you. Sending loving thoughts, Debbie
ReplyDeleteThe thing about pain from loss seem to me to be this...we hate the pain but in some ways it is a sweet reminder that we had something to loose. Thank God that we get loss...that we understand that there was something wonderful to loose in the first place. Pain in loss...it sucks! Sometimes it takes out very breath away. I remember literally not being able to breath sometimes. Words gone, breath gone, seemingly life was gone. And then that moment or day or week of intense pain passed and I realized that there was a bit of joy in that I was able to have something to miss...that my loss was loss is a blessing. Praying that your moments of wordless loss get shorter and farther apart sweet friend.
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