You know, to me, there is no more torturous time in life than middle school and high school. You are trying to figure out who you are, while at the same time being surrounded by others that are doing the same thing. So many people from so many different faiths, families and economic conditions all thrown together and told....be friends, grow up and be happy.
Whatever! It was during these years that I think mom's influence really marked me. She would tell me over and over again that popularity usually meant insecurity. I would shrug my shoulders and roll my eyes, but as life pressed on I realized what she meant. If everyone thinks you are great, and everyone is from different places in life, then you must be a different person with everyone.
Jesus on the other hand was true to what he knew. Some loved him, some dismissed him, some ignored him and others hated him. However, in every circumstance he was the same.
It's funny. The time we spent in the garage talking for hours (Dad wouldn't let her smoke in the house so we would sit in the garage and have our mother-daughter chats), has molded the very fiber of who I am and even how I am trying to grieve. It was through her wisdom I started deciding to care less about what others thought of me and more and more about what God thought of me.
In fact, I remember in High School when boys wouldn't want to date me, I would think, "Hmmm, they don't know what they're missing." It may sound arrogant? Maybe, but actually more like a great sense of knowing who I was and where I was going and how I could love. That's not to say I didn't do my fair share of crushing and crying like the typical teenager.
That confidence stuck with me though and grew from all of those talks with mom. I listened to her talk of how some liked her and some didn't but that she just did the best each day she knew how to do and let God take care of the rest.
My mom was not perfect....LOL...not at all. In my eyes she was pretty darn close, but others may have seen her flaws more vividly. What I know for sure is that she was the same to each and every person she came into contact with on this earth. That security gave me a confidence to live a happy life of my choosing. For that, I am forever grateful. Love you mom.
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