Sunday, August 2, 2009

Missing Her In The Good Times

Today has been a wonderful day. I felt like myself today. I was able to multi-task. I enjoyed a GREAT day at church. I worked on things from my computer while the kids practiced guitar and played the wii. I organized a sleepover and had a training call while feeding crazed neighbor kids pizza. I like to multi-task. I like to feel like my day has been productive.

Then as I settle down to get ready to jump in my bath tub, I think "I'd love to tell mom today was a good day." The boys are so happy, smiling and loving God. Carder called Papaw today and his first question was, "So, how was your church today?"

I am so proud of them. I just want to share the goodness with her too. There are not many people besides your mom that you can brag about your children to. So while I felt great today, as I am typing tears are just rolling down my cheeks.

Will the ache ever lessen? Funny, in a weird sort of way I hope that it doesn't. Yet in another way, I really need to have more days that I can function in a normal way. How does life ever even out? Or does it?

Living in such a way that there are no regrets means living it to the fullest. Now, my fullest means tears are normal...I guess that is the new normal everyone keeps talking about.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sure it will never get "easier..." just more manageable. You did seem more like "Rachelle" on Sunday. Productivity is always a good thing for us ladies on the go! I'm so excited for you to have a little getaway the next couple of days and am sure that will be wonderful as well! Praying for you today & everyday!
    PS_You can always brag to this PROUD aunt about your boys:) We love them to pieces!!