Thursday, May 14, 2009

For Real No Nagging!

No husband appreciates a naggy wife. Mom taught me this lesson as a very young girl and kept teaching me as we both aged. As mom always did, it was more the way she lived her life that taught me things than the words she actually used.

The Doorknob

In our house in Oblong (before the remodeling after I went to college), we had a door that lead from our kitchen to our garage. We kept the garbage can right outside of that door. Unfortunately, the doorknob was well-worn and would turn and turn and turn before it would catch the latch and actually open the door. This was a problem when you were clearing the table and your hands were full. Mom asked dad to fix it. Of course as life does, time passed and the doorknob was not fixed. Mom never asked dad again. There was the occasional sigh or groan, but NO NAGGING.

Finally, one night as we were clearing the table mom went to turn the doorknob, and it didn't catch. As she turned and turned, she dropped the food and plates in her hand. As frustrated as she was she did not yell or nag, she simply got a hacksaw from the garage and went to work on the doorknob in the only way she knew how.

French Toast

This is a story I have heard my dad tell many times and often in mom's presence. One morning, in the early days of their marriage, my mom fixed french toast for my dad. He had eaten one serving, and mom asked if he liked it and wanted more? As he was finishing his last bite of the first serving, my dad said, "It's good, not quite like my mom's but it's alright." My mom sweetly came over and picked up his plate and walked back into the kitchen where the remaining french toast sat in the skillet. At that point, my mom took the last piece of french toast and threw it outside over the hill, skillet, plate and all. As of April 2009 when mom took her last breath she had never fixed french toast for dad again. Of course, she had never brought it up again either. Everytime the story was told, it was dad laughing and telling of learning a valuable lesson about what to say and what not to say to mom.


During one of those early marital fights that all honeymooners experience, I called my mom. I just knew she would be on my side, afterall, I am her baby girl. I literally cannot recall what we were fighting about, but I just knew Nate was really really wrong. So, I called mom telling her about how upset I was, and how stupid I thought Nate was, and how should I handle all of this? Mom's response, "Well honey, what did you expect?" I was so shocked by her response I didn't know what to say. Then she said something that has helped me to put it all in perspective. "Rachelle, we are married to the two best men on the planet, but they are still men. Unless you want to be a lesbian, this is what marriage is!"

That was that. That was her advice. She didn't have to say it, but I knew what she meant. Stop complaining, grow up and deal with it. That is what mom did all of her life. And she was SO happy. Everyone always commented on how happy mom was. She was constantly smiling, constantly seeing the good side, constantly enjoying life.

Husbands don't appreciate naggy wives, and people don't appreciate naggy people. That is why mom was so appreciated. She never demanded things from others. She just looked for ways to serve others and for ways to solve her own problems.

I love you mom! Thanks for all that you taught me!


  1. I can just hear your Mom say those things.
    Wasn't she and awesome Mom, awesome friend, and most of all an awesome servant for God's Kingdom. Love your posts.

  2. Rachelle, my mom and I are laughing at your "french toast" story! Your mom was certainly a wise girl! I, unfortunately, ALWAYS had to learn everything the hard way...just ask my mom!

  3. Ohmygosh! I remember the doorknob story like it was yesterday and I am laughing once again! I can just picture your mom doing that...what a hoot! I'm not sure that your dad ever quite figured out who or what he was up against!!! Great blog!