Monday, April 13, 2009

Choosing to live is a hard choice. To exist, to breathe, to cope those are chosen for us. Choosing to live is a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute choice that is proving to be my life's biggest challenge lately. I feel like I'm working all day to take a step while it seems everyone else is on one of those moving walkways you see in the airport.

I've been on the other side of this so many times. I've watched people I love struggle with grief, and feel the pain. I've even felt guilt for living my life to the fullest while others were frozen. This post is for all of you. DO NOT feel guilt for living, for laughing, for enjoying. PLEASE enjoy your loved ones to the fullest.

I will get to the place I can walk at a regular pace in life again. I know I will. I will run and laugh and enjoy because my mom raised a fighter not a whiner.

On Wednesday, I am looking forward to being with dad. I'm headed to South Carolina and we are going to be us. I am so fortunate to have the relationship with him that I have. We can be totally honest. We can cry, laugh and be quiet. It is a rarity for a family to be as close as we are. I am grateful.

I am going to choose to live today. And that choice starts with laundry. May sound funny but that is a big accomplishment for me today.

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